Do Hard Things

Running marathons requires toughness. So do recovering from illness or injury, or coping with the impact of aging and many other situations we all encounter.

Steve Magness’s Do Hard Things challenges the traditional idea that toughness is about hiding any sign of weakness, suppressing emotion and pushing through no matter what. He argues that real toughness is something you can develop by working with your body and that experiencing discomfort, paying attention and developing the ability to take thoughtful actions are ways to build inner strength.

Magness has coached athletes at the highest levels of sport and is himself a former elite-level runner. He has built an understanding of how performance develops over time focusing on the science and psychology of resilience and sustainable success. 

He sets out four key pillars to cultivate resilience and the right environment to support growth.

1. Ditch the façade: accept what you are capable of

Magness argues that “performing toughness” gets in the way of real toughness, and that the ability to deal with challenges effectively, starts with honesty:

• Acknowledging when something is hard

• Being realistic about your limits

• Letting go of the need to prove something to others

2. Listen to your body

Your body and brain are constantly sending us signals: emotions, inner voices, pain, effort, fatigue, and stress. Toughness comes from listening to and understanding those signals—not ignoring them.

Feelings depend on context and interpretation, the better we are able to interpret them the better our decision making becomes.

3. Respond instead of reacting

Developing the ability to keep your mind steady so you can regulate your response, giving yourself the space to choose a way forward instead of reacting automatically with panic, frustration, or impulsive decisions is a core part of resilience and also helps us adapt when circumstances change, a key element of toughness.

4. Find meaning in discomfort

Purpose is the fuel that allows us to be tough. Rather than simply enduring discomfort or avoiding it, Magness encourages finding ways to make meaning from our struggles. He says it’s the glue that holds our mind together allowing it to both respond and recover.

This doesn’t mean ignoring pain or forcing your way forward. It means changing your relationship with discomfort to build the capacity to experience difficulty without being overwhelmed by it.

The foundation: What allows you to do hard things

Magness also makes it clear that toughness doesn’t develop in isolation. It’s shaped by your environment and the conditions around you.

To consistently do hard things, people need:

• Support and a sense of choice

• The ability to make progress and grow

• A sense of connection

“Real toughness is about acceptance: of who you are, what you are going through and the discomfort that comes with it.”

Reference: Do Hard Things: Why we get resilience wrong and the surprising science of real toughness Steve Magness 2022